Hi Piano, thank you for your words of encouragement... i needed that.
Did you speak with a DB coach? What did they suggest as far as, should he be there in the delivery room, birthing classes, etc.? do you think the coach helped?
I am trying to stay as dark as possible, like you said, i need to let the dust settle and stay away from the negativity. I've noticed that its not just me, but he ruffles my feathers and knows one small comment will make me upset and crying or saying mean things. the hardest part for me is that i feel like i have a ticking clock, and i wish we could make sense of this madness before the baby comes... i realize now that may not be the case. I am not sure what to do about birthing classes, i really would love for him to be there, and he really wants to be there, but im afraid the day of the birth, i will wish he was affectionate towards me. truth is he probably would be, same as he was day of the ultrasound when he said ILY and held my hand, etc. and acted like we were happily together. And then that night my heart was bleeding. Will i feel the same way when he baby is born?
He is so immature and scared and it irritates me. I really have to stay low and make him realize this is what life is like... im just scared he will like this life better than one he couldve had with me.
i read your sitch... feels like we are dealing with the same turmoils and emotions. All I know is that we deserved a better happier and mroe blissful pregnancy than what these H's have done to us. makes me so angry.
im so tired of praying for miracles... wish i had just one sign that i am not being foolish by convincing myself that this D is really happening and what he truly wants... wish i would notice one thing that would make me see that he could for maybe .0000001% believe we could fight through this.
