Hi, I've been checking this board out for a while now and I'm really grateful for all the wisdom that I've already been exposed to.
So my sitch...
I'm 30 and I have been with my girlfriend for the better part of 8 years. I know that because we are not married and don't have any children together some people will minimize my ordeal but even just posting will give me a chance to vent.
So in 2002 we dated for six months before I moved away for college. We tried to continue to date for a while but the distance made it tough. Eventually we split but remained friends. I started dating again and was in a relationship until graduating. I moved back home and we begain spending time together. In the meantime she meet someone and moved on. The dated and eventually got engaged. Apparently it was a bit of a rocky relationship and she would call me at times when she was mad at him. I told her it was inappropriate for her to call me. So one night she calls me crying, sayin gthat she needed someone to talk to and all her friends were busy. So like a fool, i met her. She complained about her fiance and their relationship. I told her that if it was important to her she shold work on it. Turns out that her ex was really threatened by me and told her that if she ever saw me again he would leave her. So she told him and he kicked her out. She called me non-stop for weeks after their break-up and I wouldn't see her. I told her that she needed to deal with her break up first.
Two months later we start talking again. We eventually start dating. A year later i find out she was still talking to her ex. Over Christmas that year she left me to be with him. Five days later she came running back. I was heart broken. We tried to work it out but a month later she was gone again. She left for two months. I never contacted her and was moving on with my life.She calls. When I asked her what she had been doing for the past two months, she lied.
I took her back and we were working on things. By this time I was so hurt and angry, and had so much resentment towards her that i treated her terribly. I called her names, demeaned her, and basically didn't care. We lived together for six months but i treated her so badly that she moved out four months ago.
We continued to see each other casually but it was really strained. In January she decided she needed to move on. She left. I never contacted her. Two months later she starts calling again. She wants to come home. She said that she had met, dated, and slept with some guy while we were seperated. Again, I was hurt. Like many people on here I don't understand how our partner's words can be so different than their actions. So we talked but she is so unbelieveably angry and has so much resentment towards me that she wants to fight about anything. Its a huge power struggle. She wants to come home but she wants it all to be on her terms.
So two weeks ago I went to vegas for the weekend. I met a woman and we went out a couple of times. No sex just kissing and stuff. When I got home she asked about what i had done in vegas and I was honest. Truthfully, part of me wanted to hurt her. Well, she was pissed. We talked, I told her that I was willing to have her move back in and we could go for counselling. Now she refuses, says she wants to live on her own. She disappeared this weekend but text me yesterday and refused to tell me where she had been all weekend or what she had done. Its obvious what she was up to. She text to rub it in and hurt me. I didn't respond and didn't hear from her again.
At this point I don't know what I want. I'm not married to this woman, we don't have kids or shared assets. I love her but I also think that there has to be a point where you say enough is enough. Its clear she has no respect for me at all.
