Thanks for both clarifying, and if the strategies don't differ that much depending on whether it's nervous breakdown or MLC then that's a relief.......
I don't feel I am JUST dealing with an Affair at all...but the Affair is fuelling him to trash our M ("What we had is broken", ILYBINILWY.etc) and not face the REAL issues (his unhappiness/fear). That's why I am still 'fighting' the affair (exposing, going DIM etc) so we can get that complication OUT the way.
What I am doing for ME and BABY: - going DIM to protect us & to stay calm and peaceful - not having conversations or physical contact with WAH - limiting to emails and only at his instigation - opened my own bank account into which my maternity leave salary will go for the first time this week (I haven't told him) - preparing for the baby's arrival (have done all my classes, borrowed/bought most of the equipment for baby's arrival) - showing him through actions that I am moving on
What I still need to do:
- Work out what to do with our other joint bank accounts. Should I suggest dividing up the money NOW? Without the help of L's? I really want to avoid L's. I don't know what action to take on this especially because he is unemployed and looking hard for work and sleeping at a friends place
- work out what to do with our apartment which I currently live in (and half time with my parents), I can't afford it in a few weeks time, but won't know what govt assistance I am going to get until baby is born
- reply to his email. To the part about wanting to help, could I just write "OK if you want to help". Then leave it up to HIM to tell me HOW he wants to help?
