Moving on with my life #2

[Reincarnated]

It might not hurt to report that crazy to the police - just in case she continues the behavior. Good to hear that you are getting back on track.

[Startingover2]

Oh No! I care again! How do I let this happen? UGH! I see it coming, I try and fight it. Put some distance there and it happens again. Maybe its the major events that surround the time together. I admit it...I liked the birthday week. I did keep telling myself this is not who he is, but I still let a part of me get sucked in.

I have put distance there again the past few days. Its hard as I find myself wanting to chat with him. Last night my mommy group had a girls night. Never too wild. Just dinner out somewhere and home by 9. Of course the sucky person in me did a drive by on my way home. Nope. Hes gone. Out. Wherever. Still a cake eater. He had the nerve to text me at 8:30 and do the give baby kisses and goodnight to you text. At 9 he is still out. Must go in the bathroom whereever he is and do his obligatory texts.

Looking at it...he really hasn't done anything outside his pattern. Same thing over and over. Major event coming, break up with gf, guilty about family time he comes closer. 100% right off the bat..then it tapers off. Still makes contact and shows interest but starts to be vague. Then he finds a new interest and is gone.

I don't know where he was or who he was with. Doesn't really matter. What matters to me is I got somewhat sucked in again. Not as bad as last time, but I know my weakness is the 'family time..the sentimental times' that get to me. Daily life I can stand up and go forward.

Ok, standing up again!

[Startingover2]

I think I am really lonely still and that is what makes me weak and vunerable. Also, my family has meant the world to me and whether he uses that intentionally or not to weasel his way in I don't know.

When he was around I don't remember feeling 'omg I want to jump him'...I remember feeling 'this is nice. Family time. Being together.' I also felt this wierd sense of calm and security. Even though he is the most insecure man to feel that way with, I felt it. Like for the moments things felt right.

Not even sure if its so much exh. Maybe some. But alot of it was getting another taste of what I really wanted my life to be like.

[ClingingToHope]

Won't it feel good to find someone to jump again?

[Startingover2]

Won't it feel good to find someone to jump again?

Absolutely! But unless they are in my mommy group I don't come across many men in my life. Just the way it is. All mommies. May be TMI, but in July it will have been 2 YEARS since I have had sex! That is a record for me...even in my younger years. I am starting to feel like I would really like to. I wish I was a FWB kind of a girl! J/K

My d20 and her bf and my son were here making breakfast this morning. All of a sudden we hear the front door open! Its exh. No call. No text. Nothing. He hangs out and has breakfast with us and leaves. Then he sends a few texts and now has disappeared for the last 8 hours! You are right Gineen...he pretends family when he wants and then pretends hot single guy! I wonder which one he really is? Well, I guess that is pretty obvious!

Baby and I went to a few bday parties today. It was fun, but I was the only single parent there. All the moms and dads and kids were present. They all do their best to make me feel comfortable, but I know I have the big neon sign on my head "SINGLE AND DESPERATE! EXH/FATHER OF THE YEAR IS PROBABLY WITH SOME FEMALE SOMEWHERE". Hopefully he is not procreating anymore.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Your posts caught my attention and I had to chime in. If I, as a guy, can go 2.5 years without it you ladies can too

Also when you say you'll be better off jumping some stranger at a bar, I know you don't really mean it. I think it's so much easier for women to find someone than the guys. As a guy you really have to have your act together and even then your chances are slim, especially if you're a nice guy. Usually the womanizer types get the girls...ok so I've been watching too many clint eastwood movies lol but it is true. Those of us shy ones are usually oblivious to the girls.

As a suggestion, for the busy single parents, I think online dating is the way to go - the subscription/paid ones.

[BeginningAgain]

Okay I'll say it - "Jump me, Jump me!" Just kidding, kind of . It's been 20 months, going on eternity for me!

[Startingover2]

Haha! Guess I am not alone!

[Startingover2]

no, you are defintley not, we are all human beings with needs, and some of our needs haven't been met for quite some time!

A long time!

Exh has been dropping by in the mornings unnnounced still. Part of me doesn't mind as long as he does what he says and never challenges me custody wise as long as I let him see her. But part of me wants to keep my independence.

He keeps making comments that things are going 'so well' between us. Yep exh, they are...as long as you don't have a gf!

Music class today. Baby loves it.

Got the pool all ready to go and ready for summer. Had some mechanical issues with it and found out the old pool guy I had been paying to come and keep it maintained hadn't been coming. New guy seems really together, but is more expensive. Worth it if he keeps it looking good and sanitary. He comes highly recommended so I feel better.

[Startingover2]

Yesterday was rather quiet. No morning drop in for coffee and seeing exh! In fact, the only time I talked to him during the day was when I contacted him about getting baby on his dental plan so we can get her in.

But about 5:30 he sends:

-So what is my exwife bringing her sick exhusband for dinner?

I wrote out some really good and smarta** comments but erased them. Finally I just replied..."look at what you wrote and how disgusting that is and you will have your answer."

He said he was just kidding. I didn't respond. Later he said he was sorry if it offended me. I said it didn't offend me but made me remeber what we were..thanks exh.

Still alone I see. Won't be much longer until he isn't.