I found that trying to be NC was the best way to help me detach. If I was in one room and she came into that room I would leave. Tried to make as many plans to go out and get away as possible. If you are not in the spouses presence then it is easier to detach.
Go back and re-reread the detach link.
I have to say this is the MOST important thing to learn from this crisis. Because even when they are not in replay you must stay detached and keep your expectations at zero.
