Well I'm glad he helped you, I kinda agree with RR it's probably best to take a step back on the mind reading which probably has got a little ODP cos of you being ill, I've had an upset stomach all week and I'm struggling with mine too.
Nice to have some us time, hope it helps with your enthuasim to carry on. Huge hugs hope you feel better soon x
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
well after he left he txted me "are you drinking your fluids? drink!" was nice to get support. Then I called him back and left message, he called me back saying he deleted my message so he didn't hear what it said (!), I called him back left another message (which he invited me to do), then he didn't respond.
AT my wits end. I know I should ODP and just let it go but it seemed he was avoiding my call last night. I want to tell him that hurts because I know he avoids things ... but if I keep up the status quo I'll just lie and pretend it was no big deal. I can't stand being lied to myself anymore I know he is avoiding me if he would only admit it. Ah, what should I do? CAll him out on it or continue to not rock the boat?
Oh well I don't want to messs up getting some nurturing yesterday so I wont say anything but this is killing me folks!
H4L, if he spent the whole day with you, I think it's OK if he didn't return your call last night. You don't know he was avoiding your call - that's mind-reading - so I don't think it would be helpful to call him on it. You could lightly say "hey, you didn't call back last night" later today in person, but only if you can do it with a smile on your face.
This must be so confusing for you. I can only imagine how hard it is for you to pick your responses right now.
Find your center.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
I can only imagine how much you are struggling with this. To have gotten a taste of the "coupleness" again... and now back to limboland. I am sorry for your pain Hun.
I agree with Flo. Let it go. It will likely be perceived as pressure or nagging, even if you word it carefully.
Sorry peeps - it all blew up today and I'm too tired to recount it. Let's just say I drew some boundaries but not enough. H ended up ditching me and S on "his day" with S. No return call, just showed up in a crap mood, dumping on me about his stress, around noon, and when I walked away and said I'll discuss when he gives me some notice and when he calms down, he laid an ultimatum. I didn't fall for it so he ditched us.
Calls before S's bed and complains what a crap day he had. No mention of how we might have felt. I"m really mad now.
I know it doesn't feel like it but blooming well done he tried to dump his crap on you and you passed it back and sorta told him to deal with it.
I'm sure there's more but just breathe and take stock for a bit, let him argue with his own demons for a bit.
I agree. (((H4L)))
And reading about the kind of mood that your H was in, makes me think about the influence of the pills
Is there any way that you could have less contact with your H for the next few days? You're still sick and it's been so intense! You need a break!
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Yeah, dim this contact quick and get a break or there may be a Passover explosion. Get some help lined up (NOT H!) with that cooking if possible. Good luck!
F***ing passover about to start - the cooking has been fun. Update later folks...yeah, I"m ready for a break after this...I wondered about the pills too when he showed up all ready for a fight...
more later...so far all is peaceful in the Hope House, even if it's only a front
