Should I Tell Her to Move On???

[mza8]

Gr8, that is GOOD that your W talked to you on Sat. My W was the same, she would look down when talking to me. I have noticed she looks at me sometimes when we meet. My W and I went from no calls to where we have had 30 minute talks by phone recently. Our phone calls are about the house and other non R stuff, but we are very friendly. My W would be in a hurry to get off of the phone with me but not lately. As a matter of fact I am the one to end the calls now. Baby steps. Patience.

My W is also in IC. I have no idea what they talk about but I'm hoping my W is doing this to work on herself. I have also been concerned if my W's IC tells her that things won't change. I wouldn't be surprised if my W's IC has told her something similar because when my W left me she told me that people's personal core doesn't change. That definitely didn't sound like my W so I'm sure someone put that thought into her head. Any good C knows that people can and do change. I can't believe that any IC would say such things as your W's did that things wouldn't change. Man, there are some really bad C out there aren't there? My IC would never say anything like that. I'm hoping that my W will be strong enough to make her own decisions and not be influenced by any negative comments from anyone, IC, family, friends, etc. In my sitch, I don't think that any of her family or friends have any ill will towards me.

I would also be interested in hearing what Dburt has to say how long it took his W to say this to him and also what changed her mind. My guess is that every W is different and each has their own timeframe. I am also guessing that that what changed Dburt's W's mind was time and her finally feeling she was ready. Probably nothing specific as seems to be the case in other sitchs.

Gr8, you have some positive things happening for you. Again, baby steps is what we both are seeing. We both need to continue to be patient. At least what we are both doing seems not to be pushing our Ws further away. We must be doing something right.