flowmom | need to commit to myself

[flowmom]

Today I feel done with caring about what H thinks about me. I was a whole human being before I met him, and I still am. I was intelligent, sexy, warm, adventurous...and nothing has changed about me. I f---- up a lot of things in our M and nothing I can do can change that. H is right, our M was over years ago because he wasn't in it.

I thought I could DB for a year, or more, but now I'm not sure. It's been almost three months since the separation, but I've been pursuing him for years. The devastation of abandonment is still with me, but I also see that he is the one who is broken. Love is a choice and he chose not to love me.

I'm going to have to deal with my agony about my children and what this is doing them. How can I forgive myself?