It sounds like there were a lot of positives in your conversation...some truthful communication.
The sex thing is tricky. My H, unlike many men, refuses to have sex unless he is feeling emotionally safe. And a part of feeling emotionally safe for him is feeling like he can make me happy. One cutting remark can kill his desire as well. That's why I've been almost celibate for years
I agree with Kat that it's not helpful to bring the OW into your M by making the lack of sex about her. You and your H have to find your desire for one another, and the safety to express that desire.
Originally Posted By: Kalni
He asked if what he does satisfies me... It took me some time to answer "It shocks me". He insisted and I said it makes me happy but it surprises me when he calls to chat and connect. He got realy upset and asked me "why do I have to ask you so many times to tell me I make you happy?".
He is really spelling things out for you here. Can you warmly receive his attempts to connect? Can he bring a generous smile to your face? Those are the kinds of things that make it safe for your H to express his desire for you.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
