Man FIB, I feel for you, and I am in the same boat in MA..
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Men/dads....get f'd here.
It really and truly does feel this way, and I wish it was not. I have tried with all my strength to think about the effort and money that is being spent as providing a home for my d9, rather than a free home for stbxw. That has taken an extreme amount of strength, and determination to stay in front of, as to not turn it into resentment and anger.
I hope you can do the same in the face of this utter crap..
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Not sure why she would do this.
Who knows, and most likely you'll never know. I stopped trying to figure out what stbxw was doing. It's just a waste of your time and energy at this point trying to figure out 'why'
Put it this way, her mind and thought processes are so different than yours right now, you can't think enough like her to understand what her motives are, so best to not think at all about it.
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
I'm so sorry that you are having to face further hell in your sitch. What your STBXW is doing is disgusting. Why is she doing this? Complete stupidity! She walked, she wants out, she wants everything. So it goes to trial.....I hope to God she won't get a quarter of what she is demanding.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
The judge was fed up and scheduled trial for July 15th.FIB
This is total Bullshit!
The whole New York family legal system needs to be on trial. The continued delays and rescheduling is a travesty and a total breakdown of the system.
Frank, I cannot believe the crap you are having to endure. You have my full sympathy and I hope there is indeed something good that will come your way in the near future.
The wife's 'wants' are screwing everyone else's needs.
Have you written that letter to your Congressman, Senator? This is above and beyond anything to go on for so many years, based on the capriciousness of one individual.
The former spouse blames me for his financially strapped situation, even though he was the one who opted for an exorbitantly lawyer whose fees drained all our resources. Maybe I would have gotten a better deal if I'd insisted he'd have the kids with him for the minimal time.
What the hell does your lawyer think.. or propose to do?
I cannot believe that one person can so deliberately terrorize the life of another. Honestly, I think if I were in your shoes, this experience would put me on a crusade for legislative changes in your state.
Surely your lawyer can do something about all this. I know you love her and say she's done an admirable job, but it seems to me that you've been screwed over time and time again. If your lawyer is unable to move this process forward, surely she knows of some bigger firepower that could.
I do not get how you can be given a date of July when this thing has already dragged on for so long. What in the hell is wrong with the judge in this case? Does he honestly believe this is a situation that your two children need to be living through every day? For crying out loud...
You all just had a date to finalize things. It could have been settled then, but her lawyer again succeeds in prolonging the misery and padding his wallet. Perhaps a threat of a report of inappropriate behavior to the New York bar association?? Anything to get this done.
Just know that this is a war of attrition they are waging against you. Do not allow their tactics to cause you and your lawyer to yield to their demands. Frankly, at this point, I'd tell them that ALL negotiations are off and we will see you in court.
I'm so incredibly sorry for you and for your two children. If there really is karma and fate in this world, your STBX better be looking over her shoulder for a long time.
Stay strong.
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
While searching to see how long the typical NY divorce takes, I found the following.
Suffolk County judges have 500 cases, versus the average of 350.
The judges tend to keep the first impressions they make because of the heavy case load.
Child custody issues have priority.
Adultery is a cause for divorce.
Even uncontested divorces can take 3 years, with the wife's lawyer saying the delays help the wife get a better settlement.
If there's a disparity in income the higher earner can be responsible for the other spouse's fees even if it means paying it from future earnings.
I found these through newspaper articles, NY divorce forums, info on law firm websites, etc.
Your lawyer should know the statistics, what is the norm, what strategies adversaries take and how to counter them. Or how to outmaneuver their opponents. They know it the way you know the most likely outcome for patients you deal with.
And what about all those lawyers who are pro fathers' rights?
I know during my divorce, I consulted with other lawyers about the proposed settlement and got their recommendations and learned a few things that helped me.
The question is.. do you need an advocate or someone who's doing their job?
