Thanks so much for the great post. I almost lost my job also, due to missing so much work because of the depression. All I did was sit and think and cry. How could he do this to me and the kids? He was always afraid I was going to be the one to leave. He told everyone how much he loved me all of the time. I just couldn't and still am having a hard time accepting all of this. It was like a switch went off and he just started snapping at the kids then me.
Then went and talked to his step-mother on a Sunday and started a huge fight with me on a Thursday and left. Moved in with his father and her for the first 6 months. She wasn't and isn't the nicest person around. She didn't help out the sitch out at all. They both just told him to leave and get a D.
You are saying that they don't want to hurt us but my H was just saying in Feb that he wouldn't go to anymore of our D13 swim meets because he can't stand being in the same room as I am. Then 2 weeks later he was being very civil and did go to the swim meet. Do you think that H says things to our D13 to get my reaction? He knows that she will come back and tell me without me even wanting to know.
It seems to me that sometimes he wants me to contact him, even if it is to start a fight. Like with the unopened box of condoms in his dresser drawer, and telling D13 that he is moving again. He just told her that in Jan. and he never moved to the city he said he was going to. Now he is saying he can't afford the apartment he is in to me then he tells her on Sunday that he is going to rent a house in the opposite direction of the last city he said he was going to move to.
Also if they are so depressed don't they need us to be there for them? This is where I get confused as far as the detachment and NC. Then at other times it seems like he wants to control me by saying things like he loves me more than just the mother of his child and he doesn't know what he wants to he doesn't have any feelings for me.
