Let me tell you, I have learned so much over the last 8 months.
If you go back and read some of my previous posts, you will see I was contimplating dating. I held off for some time before deciding that this was what I needed to do.
So, for those of you starting this horrible process, let me tell you what the last 8 months has been like.
In August my wife tells me she doesn't love me anymore and wants a divorce.
I spend 3 months trying to change her mind.
She files on November 13th.
I moved into my old house on November 22nd. The next week, I get asked out on a date by a very pretty lady, and for the first time in almost 16 years, I agree to a date with someone other than my wife.
I have a few other dates, but I end up seeing the woman from the first date a bit more.
While I remain somewhat reserved to starting a new relationship anytime soon, I do enjoy spending time with this new woman. she is also divorced.
My wife is having a tough time with my dating. However, even though I still get very sad about our failed marriage, I think we are being fairly amicable.
Next Tuesday we stand in front of a judge and say that our marriage is broken and beyond repair. he will pound his gavel and we will both leave single people.
We have focused on our kids through this process and they are doing well.
I realize that I am a stronger person now than I was before. I will never allow myself to go through this process again. I know I will remarry someday, but I have learned an incredible amount through this process.
I lost 55 pounds, stopped smoking and am feeling good (though I've found 20 of those missing pounds again!) I see this new woman often, usually for bike rides or walks.
I focus on my kids when they are with me, which is 50% of the time.
I have organized my budget (which is probably the toughest thing to do after divorce). Finally, I have grown closer to my family and my church.
I just want all of you who are new to this process to know that it sucks completly, I know that. However, you will make it, you will be okay. This board was instumental in my making it through those first painful months.
Thank you to everyone who helped me. I certainly wish everyone in this situation sucess in it not ending as mine has, but I do know that many of you will ultimatly see divorce. My friends, you will make it, you will be okay and you will be happy again.
I struggle with regret today (what ifs), but I know that I am moving forward, getting stronger and will be a better person for having gone through this. Don't get angry with your spouse, show them respect. I promise you, it is very tough, but you won't regret it.
