how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

So. Have you decided you will not deal with this? Or will you work through it with him? Or will you accept him as he is, not arguing with him about it until he's ready? Clearly, you have a POV. Make sure it isn't a reaction, but a carefully considered and considerate response.

i really feel like my H is pulling further and further away from the idea of us working things out. last week he told me he wanted to legalize our separation and yesterday i got an email saying that he doubted our marriage and continued to want to feel like retreating. i almost feel like i can't say i'll deal with something or not when it's almost like there's nothing to deal with. if that makes any sense.

dealing with the weed is not an option right now. if we reconciled, then yes, there are things about the amount he was consuming that i could not deal with. i don't want to be married to someone who will smoke weed forever, every single day. i just feel like for now, we'll have to cross that bridge if and when we ever get there.

i have no idea if he has ever discussed medication with his new IC. his last counselor didn't seem to think he needed it, or maybe didn't want to suggest it while my H was self-medicating.