My wife was not having an affair either, but she was definitely not attracted to me when she decided to attempt to stay M. She also was in a fog, for a long period of time but not as long as I think it would have been in recovering from the addiction of an OM.
It is definetely a patience game and thankfully I was ready for it because I got the great advice from those here. A few months went by, she went to IC to "fix herself", and I waited patiently trying like heck (mistakes here were made I am not going to lie) not to puxh.
One day she said, "I can really start to see you and I together in the future." That was the first time she saw us together in her mind in a really long time she said. Then, we started to go to MC (I was finally invited in, big deal at the time), then after a couple of months of that, I asked if we had an MC appointment, and she said, "nah, I cancelled it, we're good."
Was I perfect no, but the old ignorant Burt, would have been all up in her pleading with her to hurry up and get with the program. Patience is key, and continue to live your life for you. Have fun, and take the slow steps necessary to build her confidence back up that the changes you have implemented are real and permanant, then as Michele says, the WAW has a softening of the heart.
