The purpose of the meeting would be to allow your wife to speak to you, and for you to listen. Since it's about 90% likely that she will LIE to you, our further purpose is for her to do just that, so you can gain credibility with her family.
It is NOT for you to make any concessions whatsoever, nor for you to explain your actions, other than a (if she asks you why you exposed to OM's W) "I decided that she had a right to know the truth" or (if she asks you why you've done all of this) "Everything I've done, I've done either to protect myself or to fight for my marriage."
