I think it's worth pointing out these times do vary depending on what length the A is in to and what type of A it was, (exit A, or outcry for help to change the M A, etc). A's caught in the early, 'heady' times are harder to bust I think, and withdrawal is longer as they are still remembering the highs - no real lows to drag those memories down.
In my sitch, A had been going on for 18 months and so reality was setting in and A was perhaps easier to bust, plus H and I were both equally willing to admit to what had led up to it happening, ( we owned our own sh!t). Withdrawal was very quick once H recommitted. Immediate transparancy and OW gone. However, OW remained in my head for a long time and I still don't know, all these years on, what I would do if I met her. Joke is H has trouble now remembering why he had the A
Also, in the immediate aftermath, we went crazy working on us as a couple. We called in favours from family to look after the children for periods so H and I could go travel and recommit - honeymoon time to cement the reconnection. We have continued to put away time for each other, even though it is to a lesser degree. Date nights out, or if we haven't got time etc., date nights in just cuddling or talking in our own place in the house. Asking the children to respect that H and I need time together. Children have been great about it as they want us to have a good strong family and they now see that H and I are the glue that binds it together.
It's important to keep banking good times.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
