Husband left me 3 months pregnant...

[Piano]

i know... i went dark for a good while and then... we started talking, except this time it wasnt just me... he initiated a lot too. i was very cautious but somewhat hopeful. i need to stay away again... the "friend" thing doesnt work...

Yes. I think you are at what my DB Coach calls, Stage 1. It is the stage where you need to let the DUST settle. You have to avoid ALL negative communication. You are allowed to let him know that you "get it" that he wants out. You have to llook like you want this time apart for YOU. Because YOU are having a baby and YOU need to be in a calm space.
You can still say, "I don't want the divorce: it's too difficult on me right now given my advancing pregancy. What's the rush?"

When you have achieved this stage, that's when you contemplate Stage 2: which is FRIENDSHIP. This is when you have NO marital expectations of him. You need TIME to get to this place, as you've just discovered.

STage 1 and 2 are all about TIMING. If you do one thing to early, it can set you back. But don't beat yourself up - just use this as a lesson not to rush things. I am really owrried that you are too responsive to him. Start ignoring him a bit, and use email if you are going to lose it when you talk or see him.

As for the things come out of his mouth, ignore them. It's all rubbish. Don't believe anything he says right now. He's trying to justify what he's done, and to do that he has to re-write your marital history and make up mean stuff.

Also, you are still blaming him. You are fully justified, but keep it to yourself. You are only pushing him away. Stop using words with him. Try something different. Do a 180. Let your actions speak, draw boundaires, and keep them.