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Gucci -

I could have used that statement as a mirror some days, up until recently...

Thankfully, we're turning away from that mirror!

Thanks for all of the insights. Seriously.


Me-46, D-21, S15, S13

After many years w/my head in the sand...
I FILED
Divorced 6/2011

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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Good job then. Keep heading in that direction. It will be the smartest thing you have ever done. Never chase a man who shows you no respect or any lack of respect. LEAVE him or leave him alone is always the answer. Women have such a hard time believing and doing that.

What you will discover is that not only will you start feeling better about yourself, but it is the key to getting him to pursue. If he doesn't, you are just fine anyway. You win either way and get out of the trap of hope. The hope trap is a dangerous trap to be in.

Last edited by gucci loafer; 03/28/10 04:25 PM.
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My H does not care about me anymore. I can clearly see that. I'm working on not giving a damn about it.

I know it's too late for anything but action. That is why I am pushed to D. I do not think it will have any shock affect on him. He is too busy thinking about another man's wife.

I woke up in a peaceful mood but now I'm just angry.

Luv




Last edited by luvless; 03/28/10 05:33 PM.

M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
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gucci, I've been contempelating the D option for my WAW. Does this only work on men or women just the same? Of course, there are other complications such as her being unemployed for over a year and I feel if I become the 'agressor' she'll make sure I pay for it too.

Luv, I agree with gucci on this one. Doesn't mean you have to do this first thing Monday morning but you need to mentally prepare yourself to do it soon and yes feeling angry is completely understandable and should help take the next step.


Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6
Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks
Aug 2006, left again
Apr 2007, filed for divorce
Dec 2007, reunited
Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
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Oh I know SR- I have every intention on heading straight to D.

There is no other choice here.


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
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luvless,

I am finding that my situation is leading to D. I find that I am having some of the same issues that you have.

Why do you have every intention of D? How will I know when I am ready. My wife told me that it is was going to cost me $50,000, and I would get none of her money. She said, "I would end up homeless with nothing. I told her that at least I will wake up and know what I have done, and I told her I wondered how she would wake up. I am not too worried surprisingly. Maybe, a little.

I wish the best for you. Again, it so sad that someone has to be treated so badly, and someone has to be so selfish.

You are stronger than me, and I know you will be okay. Keep the faith!


Last edited by LSG; 03/29/10 05:08 AM.

ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010
www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
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((((LSG)))))

Thank you for that. I don't think I am any stronger than you that's for sure I'm just trying to accept reality.

I just can't believe how these WAS treat the other. It's like the entire R was wiped out and meant nothing. How do you treat someone who you shared a life with like that? I will never understand. If you want out then go - but have some respect for the past.

Don't let your wife bully you. You are going to be ok. Thanks for stopping by and leaving some input.

Luv


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
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just posting some thoughts...

I'm really pissed to think H left 5 days ago and not even a "I landed" text...nothing. Now before you start blasting me and saying why I should care remember I'm just journaling.

I'm really pissed when I think about this. It's making me really mad...makes me sick to my stomach. I am obviously not detached but that doesn't matter right now. I know I'm headed for D so that is my goal - to NOT care.

This would be so much better if he would have left 4 months ago in a respectful manner. I am embarrassed to say he is/was my H.

Ok I'm done.


M44 H41
M20 T23
3 older teens
Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy"
EA Nov 09 w/coworker
Another PA in Mar 10
I Filed Apr 10
D final Dec 10
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I'm sorry your H is doing such hurtful things. It's okay to have feelings about that. Just remember that his behavior is not a reflection on your value.

I try to remember that if my H had handled things in a respectful and caring way, I would be much sadder about the relationship ending. Each act of unkindness and lack of courtesy, reminds me that my H is obviously NOT the kind of man I want to be with.


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Luvless I remember when ladybug flew halfway around the world to the manila during 2 typhoons. Not a word.

Perhaps it is time you are done.


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
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