Hey Piano. Tried to get the gist of your sitch. First You've been married for 13 years? and your first baby is due. Has H been acting weird or depressed prior to A?
I'm not one to tell you exactly what to do but I think the advice you've been getting is good advice. Old Pilot posted that if he's in MLC (that's why I aske the question above)then a lot of this stuff gets harder. Your not dealing with someone you can use strategy to force behaviors. Quite frankly they just don't give a hoot. You end up focusing on some outcome or deadline you've tried to force through your strategy (i.e. NC) and drive your self crazy! Whether he is in MLC or not you need to focus on YOU and your baby. If you find yourself doing something that focuses on H STOP! This includes trying to get info on A.
You saw my last post to Jasper. Those steps posted by Lostforwords. Learn it and live it. It will set you free. You've already started to look at yourself with your DB coach. If you do this for YOURSELF you will be on sure footing emotionally. Then you can decide what YOU want.
In the meantime, you don't diserve your marriage by detaching and taking care of you.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
