how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

Did you ever tell him that if he didn't give up the weed/alcohol that you couldn't be happy with him, or did you ever hint at it?

Also, do you think that the hiding behind the drug is the problem, or the drug? In other words, if he said he wants to end it but it would take a couple years, would that be enough?

BTW - 60% of ADHD adults without meds are drug users (not me, except for coffee...lucky for me it's against our religion!)

OTM, i am not really opposed to smoking weed...once in a while. my H is well aware of how i feel about him smoking every day and in fact we've had several arguments about it in the past. most recently (about 3 months ago), i told him flat out that i was not comfortable with the amount of weed he had in the house (that he was buying for someone else) and my H sort of lost it and went on and on about how i do not accept him for who he is (he was also pretty drunk during this argument).

i think he hides behind it. i think it's something he does as a habit, to help him sleep and take the edge off his day. i've seen him quit smoking for a few weeks or month here and there so i don't think it's the drug. i think for him it is mostly self-medicating. he's expressed a desire to quit, but i don't see him really quitting any time soon.