Gatsby, thanks for your advice... baby is kicking a whole lot! i love every minute he does! Soudns like you are so strong and that is something to be proud of. i read your "thoughts of being together" and I wish they would be true...
piano, thanks for the "Do not take words seriously"... i hate him at times and yet still hope...
we had a few good days of civil conversation... i know... i went dark for a good while and then... we started talking, except this time it wasnt just me... he initiated a lot too. i was very cautious but somewhat hopeful. i need to stay away again... the "friend" thing doesnt work... i was trying to be civil and thinks its b/c ive accepted what happened between us and have moved on. He said he filed for D b/c he thought i wanted it too... that if we got D then we could move on and focus on the baby. We decided to be mutual and then he really made me angry by saying something and i went off on him.... ruined all the good work i did all along. We said hurtful things again... and back to square one... sarcastically, he said the way i was acting was really going to make him want to come back and try! #1 I know its not going to make him come back #2 If he didnt love me when i gave him my entire self and when we found out we were PG and I was the happiest and most supportive of his schooling, then he would never love me #3 i dont buy for one second that he ever even thought of getting back with me... this was just one mean thing to say to try and pin everything on me once again.
i cant stand that he is trying to turn everything around on me and make it as if i was the wrong one...
i said i take full responsibility in my part of what happened between our marriage that I may have said or done to cause you to feel this way, but I was at least willing to work on anything and everything... you left.
i truly believe he is confused and angry at me and is completely scared!
