- went to the beach with the children - went for a run (and managed not to cry) - chanting
Last edited by flowmom; 03/27/1010:03 PM.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
So, I've lost 25 lbs in 3 months. A couple more lbs then I want to stabilize, but not sure how to do that. I don't have any experience with losing this much weight...I'm worried about the weight bouncing back on if I start eating more. Any advice from those who have BTDT?
Nothing. To. Wear. Very frustrating. Every day I'm putting aside more clothing that just doesn't look right any more. Some cute PJs that I bought a month ago (a little splurge) are now too floppy.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
flowmom, a couple years ago I had my metabolism analyzed to see the best eating plan for me. I learned some things that apply to women, no matter their metabolism type.
This is what the dietitian recommend for women: *5 to 6 small meals a day; *Eat every 2 1/2 to 3 hours; *Every meal should include 2 ounces of a lean protein, 1/2 cup of a carb, and 1 to 2 cups of vegetables; and *Fruit should be eaten only once or twice a day.
I've done this plan and kept weight off. It was an adjustment, but it has worked for me. I hope that it gives you a place to start!
I'm trying to wrap my head around the end of the M part. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. But the end of our family...it hurts so much.
Flowmom
This is such a tough feeling to deal with, I hope you are feeling better after getting out for a run and going to the beach. I think I am reaching a similar point in my sitch. The acceptance part is just so difficult but it is a necessary one to allow one to move towards healing. I am trying to look at it as I have to try to accept it for what it is and move forward with living my life but that I am not closing the door on the hope that it might work out if that makes any sense.
So, I've lost 25 lbs in 3 months. A couple more lbs then I want to stabilize, but not sure how to do that. I don't have any experience with losing this much weight...I'm worried about the weight bouncing back on if I start eating more. Any advice from those who have BTDT?
Congrats on the weight loss. BTDT many times including a 45 pound loss a couple of years ago. The weight will sneak back up on you fast if you aren't careful. I was able to keep it off by increasing my level of exercise as I started eating my normal amount again. Of course, there is a sweet-spot to find as far as eating and exercise are concerned so just experiment and find it. Some other things that help. If you have a graphing program like Excel, plot your weight on a weekly basis. That way, if you start to creep back up, you catch it early.
Buy a great new wardrobe that complements your new figure. The important part is to get rid of your old clothes...don't keep them in storage. Your new clothes will serve as an early warning system for weight gain, this worked great for me this winter. If you keep the old clothes around, it is way too easy to move back into familiar and comfortable surroundings if you know what I mean!
Last edited by 12bar; 03/28/1002:51 AM. Reason: Grammer
I am so very sorry to hear you also suffered from a panic disorder. It really is so terrifying. Please chime in when you can, it's always helpful when we can share (if you are comfortable doing so!).
CG
Your post about the hallway "safe spot" and not being able to go to the supermarket brought back some memories for sure! I think "terrifying" is an understatement, it is so frightening to be *that* out of control of your life. I had it bad back when I was about 22. I got to the point where I couldn't make a 3 mile drive to a friends house without having a panic attack (hyperventillating is fun isn't it!). I came very close to being home-bound. I was diagnosed with panic disorder with agorophobia.
Luckily, I decided that I could not live like that and got into therapy and it worked really well for me. I was able to pretty much get past the panic disorder but remained anxious. I did not have panic attacks at all for the next 18 years.
Fast-forward to last year and I started getting major panic attacks while out bike riding. I was shocked to be having them again and knew something must be seriously wrong for me to be having them. In retrospect, I had been worried about my W spending time with a male "friend" at the time and it wasn't long after my panic attacks returned that my W dropped the bomb. I think my sub-conscious mind knew something was seriously wrong with my R way before I was able to see it.
That's where your "safe place" idea kinda hit home for me. I think my relationship with my W was my safe place and the deterioration of the R took that away.
When I started having the panic attacks again, I noticed a started avoiding the areas of my bike rides where they occurred. Classic avoidance! I did my first ride of the year today and purposely went to my "unsafe spots" to face them head-on. I had no problems at all so I know I am back to a better place!
I am sorry you have had to go through this too. It is an incredibly scary experience and you had to face it under much more trying circumstances. One thing I have learned in my life is that I will never be without fear. However, I will never let it rule my life. I will just feel it and keep walking through it!
- listened to songs that were alive for me in high school - watched a funny DVD - made a connection with BIL
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
