Starting to do better already. Did decide to wait for H to initiate a call. He did after a few hours. Things felt back to "normal". I need to continue to remind myself of the pattern in H's behavior. When he gets annoyed about something he just needs a bit of space and time and then he comes around.
Interesting thing, though... while traveling he has lots of time to think. Said he was thinking a lot about his R with his mother. We've talked about her quite a bit and I know H is addressing this, at least to some extent, in IC. H's perspective is that his mother is a very selfish woman with huge anger issues. He and his siblings were never a priority to her. He gets extremely frustrated that we now see that pattern with our kids... her grandchildren are not a priority either.
I listened and validated and supported some thoughts he is having about setting further boundaries with his mom and step dad in terms of contact with us and the kids. We have already minimized contact because of this and other issues, but a recent disappoitment when they didn't come to an important even of our son's seems to have made my H's mind up. He feels he wants very little to do with them at this point.
I think it was important that I was there for him as he is processing this. I think this crisis in our lives is bringing a lot of things forward for him that have not been dealt with.
Anyway, feeling better... more connected with H again, even though he is still in a negative frame of mind. I know it isn't about me, and I don't have to be affected by it.
My GALing for today is a relaxed day at home with the kids, not doing much at all... which feels just about right. Will probably take a nice long bath, enjoy a glass of wine and watch a movie later.
