I believe when a spouse constantly threatens D that is using it as some kind of tool to bully in getting what they want. "You better shape up and do as I say or I will file for a D"....or something similar. IMO, the best way to end that sort of stuff is to call their bluff.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
