Just checking in on you. I haven't stopped by for a while. I am having the same thoughts you're having about W. I have no way of knowing A is still going on because I've detached and don't ask. The longer she goes with this thing. (it's been going on for over 6 months) and what she has said and written to me is that she doesn't want marriage to end, but she continues down this road.
I am starting really to think maybe she is just really f'd up and can't commit or is so wrapped up in the drug of the A that she can't pull away. Either way bad news.
You have to start to forgive yourself man. You're here so you want to be a better man. You've commited to this and not many folks have the nuts for this. You made mistakes and they are over. This won't get any easier until you truly focus on YOU. But the trick is you can't do that until you've had enough pain.
When you do, detach and the fog starts to lift. You can do REAL GALing. It does fade after a while but you have to take control of YOU.
Keep the faith.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
