Actually, ExW is difficult because she's difficult. I gave her the DR book a while ago when she was about to D from her current H and she thanked us and said she could see what she had done to contribute to the D. We had a nice talk and decided to be friends for the kids. I don't like what she does or who she is (verbally abusive, doesn't put the kids first, drinks heavily with them, her h is physically abusive - why they came to us...) but she is being difficult now because she's moving to NC and wants the kids to go with her so we'll pay support. It has nothing to do with old hurts, that's been healed. This has to do with her being an a-hole. But yes, under other circumstances, I could see what you mean.
Absolutely, I will not take him back with no consequences. First I must find a way to separate them. It's the introduction to friends and planning wedding that is getting me. They're so deep into this fantasy that they already are thinking they know each other. LOL. She has NO idea what he's really like. They actually said in an email "I love you so much, we have everything in common, we both love beer, food and sleep." Um, yeah, that's a foundation.
Am I going about this wrong? Please let me know.
1. Separate them, expose to everyone, do an intervention with as many loved ones as possible. (should I involve kids - DSS 20 and twins DSD&DSS 16? I always put them first, but they are older. Don't want to destroy what they have with their Dad and don't want to hurt them.)
2. Go to Retro and hope he opens his heart
3. Follow up (if he connects) to make sure open transparency and THEN give him my terms. To borrow from the book Puppy recommends which I read yesterday (OK, I'm a women, but we can have them also) - tell him my N.U.T.s
But yes, under other circumstances, I could see what you mean. 