Ken your W is the one who is controlling in the M.
You have been in this spot before whenever you tried to enforce a boundary and then if she hinted at leaving, you would back down...try to talk yourself into thinking "it would work itself out" and now you're trying to convince yourself that W & OM are "just friends".
It is showtime, Ken. You have got to "show" your W you mean busines this time. So what if she leaves? Let her move into OM's extra house. Let OM be financial responsible for her. This is a sure way for the A to be over and done with once and for all. I truly believe it will take them getting sick of each other for the A to end.
OM'sW is too much of a coward to do anything. She has no backbone and she's trying to use some program to improve her M ....which won't work when her H is in an A. So, I wouldn't even mess with her. You found that out a long time back when she allowed your W to stay at their house.
The time for testing has come. Your manhood will be tested, so stick to your guns and just let her walk right out the door. Do not act upset by her leaving, Ken. That is exactly what she's hoping. She does these thing in order to control you. Allow her to show the world & the church what her true colors are...and don't you dare rescue her. Her moving out does not mean there won't be any more chances at a future with her. But I have to wonder why you would want to share your life with a person who would do you like this.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
