He seems to have declared war. Since you will not allow him to have his way in the D process, he knows the 100% certain way to get you back is to involve OW in your sons life. IMHO this is a retaliation to you pressing on him revealing his income.
I am so sorry that he's taken this method to negotiate. Really focus on detaching and as hard as it is to accept, he's gonna push the boys to relate to OW!
Don't let him know that his actions are causing you anguish.
