I personally think you need to be on your own, by yourself, for a while. You've been bouncing from man to man in this situation and you need some time to figure out who you are and want you really want.

Going back to your h right now will not solve your issues or his. You both need to sit down with a therapist separately and then jointly to figure out what are the issues. One of the most important issues I see is the way that you both may be communicating.

If you are not sure about the divorce, put it on hold until you both have figured out what it is that you want.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.