It is actually an up and down range of emotions for me Jasper. Sometimes all this anger comes in me because I feel like husband "got away" so easy with his decisions. I try not to focus on him but I will admit that I get sooo upset.
I didn't call husband back last night like I said I would and low and behold he text me at midnight last night asking me wassup...why didn't i call him back. I didn't reply (again didn't feel like it) and decided to wait until today to get back with him. He texted me this morning again and I did call him back this time (i hate texting btw so a call is better for me). He just chit chatted, he asked me what I was up to. I told him I was looking for something of mine that son misplaced so while he was talking i was kind of end and out of the conversation. I told him I was grilling today and husband replied "you are really living it up!" (I counted to 5 before responding because it is these type of STUPID comments that are pissing me off...of course i am not "living it up" is what I wanted to say! I am living in my parent's house, don't have my own space, being a single mom, etc.) I ended up just saying, "me grilling is not living it up...just trying to not spend money eating out." I got off the phone after this, told him I had to go, reminded him about the paperwork/money to turn in before tuesday for our apartment lease that is ending and then hung up.
My question is...When do I get to show anger. I know that MWD says to be upbeat when talking to WS but doesn't being upbeat make the WS think that everything is going wonderful and that you are not hurt/angry by their actions! Doesn't being upbeat say that you walking out on your family was the best thing you could have done because I have never been happier. I just wanna know what is the line to walk? I guess that is what Tupy was saying about Protection phase...cordial conversation can be taken as I am perfectly accepting of the life and path you are choosing for yourself and for your family. I guess MWD's approach is that being upbeat will make the WS see what a "GREAT AND FUN" person the spouse they left behind is.
Also, Husband was saying in today's conversation that he gets his new apartment on Wednesday and asked when I would come see it. I said I am not coming and you are wrong if you think I am going to come visit you and celebrate you getting your own apartment. He kept going on how we could "break in the new apartment." Again, I could have laid him a new one and ripped into him but i kept having my conflicting thoughts on how to walk the fine line of being upbeat while at the same time showing that I don't approve of his choices. What I wanted to say was "look, you don't want me, you don't wanna be married so don't keep playing these flirty games with me. You will not be ML to me, you and I are not "dating" or any of that so long as you CHOOSE to live your so called bachelor life." Then I would have hung up.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
