New here but have been a voyeur

[Truegritter]

No W is living in our home which is actually her house from previous M that ended 5 years ago and hasn't sold. Part of the drama.

I haven't confronted OM. He is a nobody. Remember we talked about this way back in the thread. We were comparing who had the worst OP, I forgot was it Puppy? or someone whose 40ish W was going out with pimple faced kid? This guy is uneducated, 39 ebroiders stuff for a living. MLCers (which I think your H is one and when appropriate you should probably switch over there) they go down the food chain cause that's how they feel about themselves and it's easy and not challenging like their spouses.

It is definitely not a reflection on you. If anything once you understand what's happening the further down into stupid they go is actually an inverse relationship to your own acceptance of it not being about you. I think. You're like WTF? Really? That guy? That's the guy? Oh I am sorry. Our M must be really f*cked
up. That's when you know they sailed off the map.

My W was on national TV shows. Also modeled up until about 2 years ago.Very successful career. She has lost her career. Her exH screwed her out of her nest egg she had been building for ten years when he drained all the equity in her house with a second mortgage. House is in foreclosure. She's been arrested for DUI and battery(fight at a night club while I was out of town) over the past 2 years. The economy went to sh#t. I use to make a really good living and now am struggling. She has no job. Doesn't know what to do now that modeling is pretty much done. She is lost. So you could say we/she had the perfect storm. On top of all this she has the PTSD which is like running a marathon with one leg. And still ... I can't save her. She must decide to save herself.

OM just won f@cking lottery! He's way out over his ski tips. There's going to be a yard sale. But if not she can dwell in the basement. It's out of my hands and has nothing to do with me. You can't force stuff on MLCers. If I tried to make her stop seeing him she would dig her heels in. I would focus all my energy on that and off of my healing and myself. My M and my W is worth too much to me to lose myself. I am worth too much myself.

Soooo think about that when yu are trying to figure out whether to confront. He's already said he's finished with her. Again I don't think your energy should focus one more second on that OW. Any time wasted on her you won't get back in any way.

I am making gumbo today. I love to cook. I lose all my worries...that's probably the Italian thing. Food=Love.