She basically refuses to stop talking to the OM and I told her that if she wants to continue talking to the OM, she would have to leave. The OM has a spare empty house for her to stay in. She slept on the sofa last night. I'm starting to think I shouldn't have said anything. The night before was so much better.
"Better," how? Ken, "peace" is not the absence of conflict. You stood up for yourself, and you were absolutely right to do so. If she reacts poorly to that, then that is her choice, but you still did the right thing.
One of the misconceptions about DBing, in my opinion, is the "Do what works" thing. The problem is that people mis-define "works" as being "what doesn't make her/him angry" and "what makes her/him act nice towards me." Instead of as "what moves me further along down the path toward a mutually-healthy and committed marriage."
Sometimes one has to take a short-term "hit" in the "nice" department in order to solidify a healthier, longer-term gain.
