The latest with me

[mindfull]

Romeo:

Sorry, I haven't been around much, but here's my catch-up!

I've been waiting for an update all day but she didn't send me anything. This makes me upset. I was going to offer my help if she needs me for anything etc and was going to tell her to call me on my cell anytime at night if needed. sigh! I'll send her an email anyway...

Did ask her to update you? If the school said she was ok, and when your W picked her up she was ok, she was probably ok... If you want an update, either ask for one, or, call her!

So it's almost 9pm and DD's usually she calls me by now to say goodnight.

Can I offer a suggestion? Why don't you call HER at nights? Then it takes burden off of the parent who has her, and you don't sit around waiting for a call, building resentment, if you don't receive one. If they're not home, or if it's not convenient to talk, leave a message and ask for a return call.

This is the sort of carelessness that irks me.

This probably wouldn't have been my first choice for evening activities w/a borderline sick child either, BUT you're not in charge of her at the the time, and you can't see how she's feeling. And, don't fuss over a missed bedtime or two. It happens, and if it doesn't, you're too rigid! HOWEVER, if something happens that is really harming D6 and/or not good for her mental and/or physical health, it's entirely your business. None of the above is, frankly. SORRY! HUGS

I have gone dark as much as I can but only out of anger. Last night the whole episode almost got out of hands and I backslid a lot. After her text i called her to talk to DD and she didn't answer which pissed me off so I called again and again back to back and she still didn't answer. I almost texted her back saying 'how about I come pick DD up so you can party all night' but I didn't. I was still huffing and puffing over it when 10 mins later my phone rings and it's my DD saying she's in the car getting ready to go home. It calmed me down after I talked to DD but I'm sure STBX was upset at my phone calling and I probably verified that I'm too controlling...why did I do this? I have no clue some of it was probably ego that she wasn't answering me and some of it was I didn't know how DD was and some of it was the unknown of what she could possibly be talking about for 5+ hours with those people (parents of another kid at my DD's school), are they lawyers? is she trying to get a job where they may work etc etc. Last night was bad, couldn't sleep well all these thoughts running through my mind.

Romeo, this is all so totally unhealthy for your SELF. You need to find SO MANY other things to fill your time!!! I understand, more than anyone, being separated from my D (my D18 saw her alcoholic father fairly frequently growing up, and I worried NON-STOP), but you have to LET IT GO. Unless Mom is a BAD MOM, let it go, and enjoy yourself.

I just got back from mtn biking and I'm beat!

Now, this I want to hear more about! I'd love to learn to mountain bike! I used to LOVE spin classes!!! If I could couple that feeling on the bike w/being outside, BONUS!

I need a girlfriend...any volunteers?

No, you don't. You need to learn to love yourself first. You need to learn to enjoy time by yourself first. You need interest in doing things w/others (not your W and/or D) by yourself first.

And, think about this... what kind of girlfriend wants a boyfriend obsessing about how he looks to his W and what his daughter is doing. not doing, all day?

You have some work to do, oh Romeo.... What a great baseline to build from, though! A loving, caring, smart, guy, w/a gorgeous little girl.

You can do this!