Divorced, Dating, and Parenting

[~Sol]

Thanks Wii for that insight provided. Sometimes I get blindsided by whats going on that it seems like chaos and insanity is the norm in the world. In due time indeed! I still find myself going back to online dating - it works, but it's not perfect. At first there is the excitement of meeting someone new, but then you get to meet and know them over time, and then you get to see if they are truly compatible or not. But I found that it's one thing to meet them "online" and quite another to meet them in the flesh!! And I learned not to settle for just anyone!

Hi Clinging, so it's true about most second marriages ending in divorce. I guess these people just rushed into something without first healing from the first one. I think we feel an emptiness inside that is just harder to fill when coming out of a long R, and we want to fill that void up so badly, that we jump at and marry the first person that seems to fill that void, only to find out later that its just a temporary fix and doesn't really add any true substance to the R - becuase we never really had time to heal or re-learn what it means to really love and give to someone? At this point, I can say that I thought I was ready for something - but I am not ready for a serious commitment of any kind at the moment - I'm afraid of it to be honest. I understand how you feel, totally, with the time constraints of kids, uncertainty of meeting the right person, making a second (and hopefully final) marriage work. It's interesting that you pointed out that the second divorcees seemed unaffected by their divorces, like it was a typical thing to experience. It's as if they've gotten emotionally hardened and drained from another experience of a divorce.

Well I have my good days and still have my bad ones. On my bad ones, I usually sulk around and just pity myself (sad I know), and on my good days I am the fun person most people know me as, and I have hope and a positive outlook. I try to weigh both extremes, and not look at my past marriage and R as a total failure, but as an experience from life, and I hope that the lessons of pain, love and struggles of being in a R can help me in the future and also help to pass on good advice to my daughter when she goes through her struggles in life. I constantly think about the kind of life my daughter will have, and how her relationships with others will be, especially when she gets married. I know I didn't have the tools or know-how to have a good R, let alone pick the right person in the first place, but like Wii said, even that can get out of whack and we need to learn from it and go on. Somehow I believe my daughter will do just fine - she's a smart kid and has a good head on her shoulders, and her heart is in the right place. I'm sure she will make the right friends to get through in life, and I guess that I too will be OK as time goes on. Every new day is a blessing in that we heal just a little bit more.