I am glad I asked it this way because I've already gotten a lot of good insight. I'll continue to read and look for answers inside of myself. My feeling is that with my DH where he NEEDS support and love of others - very insecure - it would help in our situation. I like the idea of feeling like I did the right, moral thing and feeling like I'm not a doormat, so that helps also. Very good insight, thanks all.
