And more to the point passenger, exposure offers additional benefits to the LBS -- It isn't just about adding pressure on the spouse to end their affair.
1. Confidence - it feels good to take the fight to the cheating couple
2. Dignity - You get back some respect for yourself by speaking up
3. Support - once your friends know what's going on they might HELP YOU
4. Education - you really learn who your friends are -- and aren't... when you confide in them and they turn away or they help you.. its a test of friendship
5. Family - this kinda stuff brings families closer. It gives them a chance to jump in and help you out when you really need it
I don't recall reading a post here when exposure actually made an affair worse. I have read posts where there was fallout... tantrums, threats, fury, even rage... but never heard of a case yet where the cheating spouse upped the ante as a result of their LBS revealing what they were doing in secret.
Many offences are kept in secret, and they THRIVE there - bullying, child abuse, molestation, etc
When people are hurting someone in SECRET and it isn't revealed, that doesn't HELP the situation, it enables it to continue. These offences NEED the secrecy to thrive. There's a reason why people don't do these things in the open -- They know they wouldn't get away with it without the consequences coming down on them.
And very often when an affair is happening the WS has already run a smear campaign on the LBS in secret themselves... THEY already exposed YOU, the LBS for being a horrible person... This is to help justify their cheating in case they get caught.
