feel like giving up - pt 2

[luvless]

If you need someone to hold your hand, just yell! [/quote]

HUGS mind...

[gucci loafer]

This is where people just don't seem to understand...

Letting him go IS AN APPROACH to save the marriage.

It works very well.

I use the same example over and over...

If you want to see how good letting go and letting a man feel that you are done with him and how GOOD that works then just go on almost any thread started by a man on this site...

You will see over and over and over that the man suddenly woke up when his wife seemed to be done with the relationship. This site is FILLED with men that suddenly are wide awake now that the wife has said she is done... Is it not?

Read and observe the men's threads. Notice how often you see them suddenly saying how bad a husband they were. Notice?
How they didn't give her enough attention, worked too much, didn't meet her needs and on and on and on they go. Now they are Mr. Perfect Husband. Reading relationship books, praying, learning what an emotional need is etc etc..

Have you not noticed that most all of the men on this site were awakened by a woman wanting to leave? Why didn't they wake up before? Why when she wanted out?


Doesn't matter what the reason is.. The thing that matters is that it must work pretty darn good to get a man to come to his senses doesn't it? It works so well that it actually makes the man want her more than ever. After years of ignoring her and not meeting her needs, suddenly he wakes up.

The common fine thread running through each of the situations of these men is what?

THE WIFE WANTING OUT.. THAT is the common fine thread..

Do WHAT WORKS. We know letting men go works. How? We see it plastered all over this site. Why wouldn't you want to do something that is working on here so well?

[luvless]

I hear you Gucci and I'm going to heed.

I don't know if I want my H back even if he decides to wake up. I just don't know. I wanted my M to work really...more than anything but I'm willing to let him go. I did once before but this time I don't want to care if he comes back.

Thank you so much G.

[luvless]

I spent this evening making a nice dinner for me and a friend. Then I danced..played music and I didn't shed a tear once ...ALL BY MYSELF.

Sometimes I think I'm going to be ok.

[james217]

12 - I have not confronted him with my proof yet. I have said to him "I know what you're doing" and he has denied anything even swearing on our children's lives. Thanks for your input.

James - I've known all along but I just didn't have proof. It's been 4 months now. It's so strange that you talk about 1 corinthians 13 my best friend was just telling me about that yesterday! I'm sorry you are going through this too J - thanks for your support.

H is out on business and comes back for 4 days then is gone again so I have to be careful how I do this. I want to confront owh first before I put H out so that the ow and H cannot have time to talk about anything.

I'm awaiting the address to the ow residence to go to her H. I hope he is approachable.

Thanks to anyone that stops by for input.

Luv

No problem luvless. I need prayer for me and waw and our sitch. Today was totally nuts. And yes 1st corinthians 13 is very powerful. As well as ephesians 5.

[talia]

Luv,
I agree with Gucci - do everything he says! Its time - your H has had enough chances and you need to create a safe situation for your family. Your H needs to be out of your house right now -with his drinking and mistreating you and the kids. None of you deserve that.

I DO think that kicking him out is the best option - epecially if you have proof of the affair. Hire a L and have the paperwork ready when he gets back. I would make sure you get L to ask that H not be allowed at the house. You can pack his stuff - put it in the garage and meet him there with the D papers and your proof when he comes home!

Time to step up and shock the heck out of him - you will feel better in the end too!

I know its not what you want - I understand that feeling - but sometimes doing the right thing has nothing to do with what you WANT!

Hugs - hang in there!


T

[mindfull]

Luv -

I think you know my stance on this, BUT, if your H CANNOT respect his home and family, and CANNOT stop conducting communications w/OW from home, and CONTINUES to ignore you and your families needs, THAT is your boundary.

You don't need to up and kick him out. You need to tell him, THE ABOVE. If you can't stop this A w/her, and you can't respect me and our family, and can't stop txt'ing/calling from our home or presence, and continue to ignore us, THEN you will find your sh*t in the garage to pick up at your convenience because it won't be needed here.

[gucci loafer]

Little too late for that. He has already shown he doesn't respect. It is too late for IF you can't respect.

Total waste of time... That should have been done years and years ago.

Time for action not more words.

[mindfull]

I hear ya.

I kind of feel like Luv may not be able to act, to just act, like she may need to have it be said to preclude her actions... that was my thinking... BUT, I've not dealt with this before/yet, so...

I'm taking notes, though!

[gucci loafer]

Some women seem like they would rather be in a bad relationship getting no respect than no relationship at all.