Thanks Grit..I needed this. I do get sucked right back in..and I do blame myself for a lot of this. Not sure if it is blaming myself or just taking responsibility. I should have put him in his place..I tried at times..and other times it was just so much easier to just let him have his way to avoid a fight. I don't think it was because I was weak..I was always more easy going than him. I chose happiness and peace over conflict in many situations. That is not to say that his dinner didn't go in the garbage can on occasion when he complained his dinner wasn't ready for him on time....or that the dry cleaning didnt sit at the dry cleaners for weeks because he complained his suits weren't in his closet..I guess I chose my battles carefully. More so for my own sanity rather than to please him.
There are certain times when I feel like my H is completely rational and he is able to point things out to me that I don't see. His good side is sooo good..his bad side is soooo bad. Because he is so uneven...his good side is all that much better.
In many ways I was his mother. Besides your wife's PTSD...what was day to day life like? My H did blame me for his boredom. It was much easier for him to blame me than to take control and responsibility for his life. This is my H new mantra "you need to take control of your life"..he said this a number of times last night. He definitely feels that he lost control and is now back on track. I need to just wait and watch to see.
Well the city was great tonight..great food and it was nice to see my high school friends. I haven't been all that open to everyone about what is going on between me and H..it is kind of strange that strangers on this site know more about my life than my family and closest friends..I guess I am a private person in 'real' life. Understandably, everyone asked what was going on. I told them we are going to try to work things out...the response was "I loved you guys as a couple".."you guys were so great together".."I really hope that you can make it through this". He isn't the guy that would invoke the reaction "I knew he was a creep all along..we were just waiting for something like this to happen".
