Just to let you know..... I'm still alive.

[job]

Happy Belated Birthday!

There is no "guessing" about it...you are going to be fine!

Congratulations on the purchase of the TV and sofa....you are starting to pick yourself up. I know that it is very difficult for you to have this "fear" that he's going to come at you again, but you cannot live that way. Think positive and know that you are a strong lady who is a survivor! Soon, your son will be out from under his control. Your daughter isn't far behind.

Take care of yourself! Spring has finally arrived!

[Between Tears]

Thank you very much Snodderly! I had a quiet birthday, a 10 hour day at work, and a simple ride home. Although I could say I purchased the TV and sofa for my birthday too.

I realize I can't live as though Dick is going to come after me again... however, just like the boogey man, Dick still hides in the shadow of my mind at times.

Just curious, once I'm out of range, who will Dick set his sights on? Realizing the power/control patterns, Dick will need someone to project those things he dispises about himself, blame someone for those things he has done, he will need to release the angst that builds inside of him, he will need to control, but who will he set his sights on? Will it be my Son? It seems when I wasn't readily available, he used my Son, although right now, Dick is playing Mr. Nice with him and in a honeymoon period.
This is the reason I feel I'm in for it for S's graduation, Dick hasn't had any release since Christmas visitation and taking my rights to be with D away by taking her out for breakfast when I was supposed to be with her.

I do know there will come a time when he will mentally implode, but that could be in the distant future.

[job]

Right now, keep your focus on today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

Once your son graduates, your xh's hold over him will be gone. He will most likely go after our daughter as she is still in his clutches. I honestly could be wrong about all of this and that's why it's important to focus only today.

Just keep your eyes and ears open. Watch your back.

[Between Tears]

Thank you Snodderly,

My main focus is to put my pieces back together and keep them together. This last blow of Dick's, having D stay out there with him really rocked me emotionally. But that is what happens N is given complete control by the system... he knows he can do anything he wants.

D called last night, or her alter ego called... She went into how she wants to go into the Navy and study in the Nuclear Propulsion area, where it's best suited for her, because of her math and science abilities. She pushed until I said, they won't let you ride on the subs, and that leaves aircraft carriers or the dirtiest little nuke plants in the country, and I don't want you to be put in harms way.

Well, she told me that after the navy gives her this expensive education, they aren't going to put her in harm's way... she's just going to travel the world and have the best college education anyone can offer.

I said, you'll really enjoy boot camp... she said I won't have to do any push ups, as long as I can run. I bit my lip, really, really hard.

I could hear how she's been sold on this, she even told me she's already talked with a recruiter. With this knowledge, I told her, she could have written a ticket to anywhere with an education from Stanford, her income inconceivable.... She told me the only other place she could get the education she wants is to go to MIT...

I laughed, couldn't help it. This child wanted to be a teacher and a swimming instructor before going out to California. She honestly believes the 30,000 or so she'll be making in the Navy is more than what she would have made with a regular college education.

Basically, I left her with I love you, and wishing her the best of luck with her plans.... I told her I didn't agree with the direction she has chosen now... and that I pray she remembers what truly makes/made her happy before she signs anything.

So, Snodderly, you are probably right. D is beautiful, intelligent, articulate, multilingual, and everything an N personality would need from his source. She used to see through him, and now is sucked into his world. He's every bit of satin's blood...

I really do miss my little girl. Picking up the pieces, is a must, and for now, is my focus. I pray she opens her eyes soon, before she makes any life altering choices. She too needs to come back to who she really is.

[kml]

Those recruiters are smooth.

But bear in mind - she might also be looking at this as a way to achieve adulthood - and therefore freedom from the influence of your ex - a little sooner.

Any way to take her on a visit to Stanford or some other college?

[kml]

P.S. It's okat to let her know that RECRUITERS LIE! And I'm sure if you look, there must be a website somewhere with the stories of them doing exactly that.

[job]

Oh boy, someone has pulled the wool over her eyes! Basic training is not a picnic by any means....she's in for a rude awakening. Military life can be fun, but there is a lot of work and danger involved.

All I can say is that she'll wake up very quickly once she is in boot camp, if she passes the phyiscal. I feel sorry for her....it's not paradise. All she needs to do is pick up the paper or watch the news and real life will be smacking her in the face.

Please take care of yourself.

[oldtimer]

Hey Ellie, check your email! Ciao, OT

[Creed]

Oh yes....recruiters most certainly can/do lie more often than we might like to think!! I wish more young people went in with their eyes open.

Problem is, if you try to help her accept this, it will probably only make her more defensive/acceptable to whatever the recruiter(s) are telling her.

Like someone said...try to find a website forum of young military women...see what they say.

I'm extremely proud of our young men/women that join the military branches for their country, but I am ashamed that many join under the false promises they are told by some (not all) shady recruiters.

Regardless of what she is 'told', she will have to do EXACTLY what she is told, go exactly where she is sent, exactly when she is told to. Once she signs on the dotted line, any promises she was told aren't going to be worth much more than the paper they were signed on.

There can be advantages to the military for some...you do get excellent training in some fields, opportunities to travel to places you may never have otherwise, and experiences/friendships that can last a lifetime...but they come at a price.

A very belated happy birthday BT!! I'm glad you treated yourself.

[Between Tears]

Hi Snodderly, Ellie and Creed,

So good to have other's feel the same way I do about D going into the Navy. Regardless of what I say to D, or what I send to D, Dick will have something to say about the information I give to her. When I mentioned a certain news article for her to read, she said "you can't believe everything you read on the internet" which told me she's been prepared for anything I can say. Only thing left for me is to pray, and find my own recruits who I know D will listen to. Which I've already started.....

Yesterday went to work, as usual. On my way, found one of my tires has been split, and about to blow. I made it work, and thought I'd just change that tire during my lunch hour. Got out there for my lunch, and someone slit that tire too. I know the spare was fine when I put it into the truck, I had just looked at it a week before, and checked it for air.

Luckily, the Saturn is popular where I work. One of the guys said here, borrow my spare to get home, and give it back when you have new tires. I am so blessed. Although, there isn't a place I can buy tires open today... first thing in the morning, I'll be getting another tire.

Now, the funny thing today, the farm hand, an older gentle man, who works for the guy who leases the pasture, came up to my door an asked if I needed a roommate... I held my tongue as I thought, I can't stand having neighbors, what makes you think I want a roommate? I didn't say anything, just stood there listening. He told me he'd split everything down the middle, and gave me this smile. I hadn't noticed his eyes before, or really anything about him, but have played with his puppy, who he takes everywhere he goes. I didn't respond to him, I know I'm rather rude... but then he said give it a couple of days to think about, and I'll be back to see what you have to say.

Before I'd allow anyone here, I'd do a complete check on his history.... but I did actually think about it for a bit. It would be easier for me to have the extra money... I have three other bedrooms in this house, and besides I'm only here long enough to sleep 4 days a week, so it's not like I'd have to put up with him a whole lot.

Then I got to laughing... well, someone around for those few things I need a guy for. Nah, not all, but it would be nice to have a handyman in this old farm house! Someone to trim those trees, and fix that lawnmower... I still can't get that tire off. To carry that 50 pound sack of dog food... that I once would just flip over my shoulder and carry in, that I now have painfully drag across the ground to get into the house. Hmmmm, I thought, it may not be a bad idea to have someone around here just to watch my tires...

I don't know... It's just funny I'm actually thinking of the advantages, but I'm pretty sure I'll just tell him no.