DG - TF has given you some good advice about typing the emails but not sending them. I've got a folder full of spew laden unsent emails as to how I feel about ow and what H has done, is doing. lol
Made me feel better to say it and get it out w/o backsliding.
Please don't beat yourself up over it. It's over, you've apologized. You've done all you can and this will pass.