feel like giving up - pt 2

[luvless]

Thanks Smart Romeo & Lola

I'm working hard on staying positive but sh*t it's hard.

I get on the rollercoaster ride and it goes up and down and makes my stomach turn.

My daughter just called me that her friend died of cancer (19yr old boy) just like my own son. I thought to myself....hey, I should be grateful that isn't happening to me.

Time to get out of my pajamas already huh?

Ok I'm gonna have a better afternoon than my morning.

[ImprovedRomeo]

Exactly luv, lots of people in the world are dealing with far worse situations than us. Kids whose parents are dead in an EQ, parents whose kids are murdered by sex offenders etc etc. We have a lot to be thankful for.

BA's thread says his friend died of cancer who has a little 7yo girl and dad hasn't been around for a while...breaks my heart to hear it. My D is almost 6...I can only imagine how lonely the little girl must feel. Hope her aunts/uncles step up as BA hopes.

[luvless]

Hey guys,

I'd like to start getting ideas/strategy to get H out of the house. I have proof he's having an affair. In California I cannot throw him out legally but still....

It's so sad that my H is choosing a stranger over me and his children but that's the reality. He is a traitor.

Robx, Pup(where are you!) Gucci...come by

Luv

[12bar]

Luvless

I haven't caught up on your sitch but have you confronted him with the fact that you know? You may not be able to force him to leave but you can confront him and make sure he knows that you are not going to tolerate crap behavior.

[james217]

Luvless

I haven't caught up on your sitch but have you confronted him with the fact that you know? You may not be able to force him to leave but you can confront him and make sure he knows that you are not going to tolerate crap behavior.

I 2nd that. How long have you known about the affair luvless? are you applying the 24 hour rule? I know it's hard to see your H having an affair but I'm dealing with that too. Stay strong keep the faith and think it over. I know it hurts badly. But just remember 1st corinthians 13.

[luvless]

12 - I have not confronted him with my proof yet. I have said to him "I know what you're doing" and he has denied anything even swearing on our children's lives. Thanks for your input.

James - I've known all along but I just didn't have proof. It's been 4 months now. It's so strange that you talk about 1 corinthians 13 my best friend was just telling me about that yesterday! I'm sorry you are going through this too J - thanks for your support.

H is out on business and comes back for 4 days then is gone again so I have to be careful how I do this. I want to confront owh first before I put H out so that the ow and H cannot have time to talk about anything.

I'm awaiting the address to the ow residence to go to her H. I hope he is approachable.

Thanks to anyone that stops by for input.

Luv

[mindfull]

I'm awaiting the address to the ow residence to go to her H. I hope he is approachable.

If you need someone to hold your hand, just yell!

[gucci loafer]

1984, 1989, 1998, 2009.......

And I would say that maybe THESE are only the ones you know about...


My question is.... What is wrong with YOU that you don't show him some real backbone? Why do you continue to put up with this?
Are you ADDICTED to pain and suffering?

I also noticed that in the 1984 affair that you said you let him go and he came begging back in 28 days.. Doesn't THAT tell you something?

So now you are going to expose this most recent one to the OW's husband?

Too little too late is what I say...


Here is my take.. I think you need to do the biggest 180 of your life here...

Get a lawyer. File for divorce. Get whatever your lawyer can get for you. (call it pain and suffering repayment)AND whether you "feel" it or not, I think you should make your husband think that he has lost you forever and ever. Fake it if you have to. Read all you can about the things a WAW says and then copy and say all of those things.......

TOTAL 180. Have him served. Get tough...

You have tried this other approach which hasn't really worked. (which I could have told you wouldn't but women have a hard time really believing a tough approach works far far better and it gets tiring to keep telling women that and they still just can't do it and keep listening to those who tell them to "hang in there)

That's it. That is what I think. Will it bring him around?

You should be answeing that with WHO CARES.

[CityGirl]

I have to agree. At this point I think your best (and maybe only option) is to go ahead and file.

Did you ever get a chance to attend the informational class we learned about in Santa Monica? IIRC they had the seminar a few times a month for free!

I guess I was not aware your H has had multiple affairs over the years. IMO under the correct circumstances one can possibly be overcome and the M can be rebuilt but if I am understanding Gucci's post correctly he has been having affairs for over two decades! IMO that is a serial cheater and exposure will do no good.

Get educated (I know you are working on this) and find an attny you like and trust and file. Get yourself a good C and do what you must to protect yourself and your children.

He might come around and he might not but IMO there is nothing more for you to do.

(((Luv)))

[luvless]

Gooch - I didn't start dating H till 1987 it was when we broke up in 1989 that he had a one night stand with a coworker then came begging back. 1998 and 2009 are correct with EA at work. I have no solid proof of any PA other than this current one that raised all red flags like no other time.

You really think it's too late? I have a backbone G and I've been planning this whole time to leave him for what he has done. I wanted to give my M a chance before I bailed but it looks like my H is not going to wake up

CG - I had not I have been bombarded with getting organized for this D. I run the show here and have 3 teenagers, my stress and all this BS that's been dealt to me. I have been getting my ducks in a row and I am ready.

I would still like to expose before I serve him. Thank you guys for your advice.

Luv