Looking for help with WAW

[sandi2]

Now that post made me feel good reading how much stronger you sound. Do you know that you can actually separate your feelings about your W from happiness with your life? That is more than most can do! I am impressed!

Regarding the sympathy card. I really went back and forth with that one. I decided that if it was one of her friends, I would want to know and probably like my name added to the card. I was just trying to extend that courtesy to my W. Like I said, I realy wasn't sure of the right thing to do in that situation. One of the things I continue to struggle with is what is important to contact her about. I don't want to do anything that might even remotely be seen as pressuring her. Sometimes it hard to make all of the right moves. Before I make a decision I try to see it through her eyes and how it might make her feel or respond. I am trying to only contact her about the house when absolutely necessary.

I understand completely. But as you know, I am trying to give you her POV as a WAW. Some things seem so silly, doesn't it? But, none the less, it can put pressure on her and will work against you in the end. LBH's do have a hard time knowing what they should consider important enough for contact, and when in doubt....just do what you feel is the right thing. Just remember that she wants to think of herself as "single" aNd you want to think of you together. Maybe if you asked yourself what would you do if the two of you were single....that would help.