She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[tbart01]

Someone please try to answer my previous question, but I need to vent for a moment.

I was doing pretty good today until a song came on the radio that my W had told me back in December reminded her of us. It's from Theory of a Deadman, and it's called "Not Meant To Be". Now I can't get the dang song out of my head and I'm pi$$ed.

She's so dang selfish she's got my D wanting to leave home. I called my house, W answered, I said how are you, is D there, she said yes, want to speak to her, and I said yes. That was it.

All my D could do was tell me how much she hates her mother, the house, and the neighborhood. She said she doesn't like the way mom is being and she hates her.

I tried to calm my D, but it didn't work. I told her that her mom was a good mom, but she's going through something right now. You need to give your mom love and respect. My D said that my W doesn't respect her. Conversation went on like this for awhile.

I told her she can't dislike the house and the neighborhood, because that's where were going to live. I said besides I'll be home in two weeks. She said she'll like the house and neighborhood when I return.

My W is being so dang selfish. She has absolutely no idea what the he!! she's doing to the children and this family. It absolutely crushes me to hear my D say the things she's saying, but my W is causing it. I'm trying to stand by my W and defend her, but it's getting harder. My D isn't stupid, she knows how she feels.

My D said she can see that I have and am continuing to change. I'm really starting to get mad as he!! the more I think about what my W is doing. Of course I won't express any of this to her, that's why I'm here.

I just want to get home and have this conversation. I want to hear what she has to say, then I want my turn. I know everything she's going to say is total B.S, but of course I can't tell her that.

I then want to tell her that the cards were stacked against me along time ago. I want to tell her I know her chicken sh!t a$$ sent me to a combat zone so she could plan to leave me while I was here in danger at all times (of course I won't).

I'm going to validate what I can, then tell her that my intentions were never to marry her and make her unhappy. I'll tell her that I haven't become the man I wanted to be. I don't want to D or S, but you do what you have to do. However, I'm going to move forward and continue to make steps to become the man I want to be.

I really don't know what to think or how to feel anymore. I haven't even gotten home to speak to my W and I'm ready to give up. This is draining as he!!. I've been in a combat zone dealing with this crap since just after Thanksgiving. I guess I'm not as weak as I thought, I'm still here doing my job aren't I? This is the single most chicken sh!t, selfish thing anyone could do.

Sorry about all of this, but I'm angry right now. Listening to Iron Maiden and Ozzy probably isn't helping me, but I needed to get that song out of my head.

I just don't know how to handle this anymore.