Db not working, MLC spouse pushing D

[foreverhesaid]

Mila,

I sure hope that you are in a different time zone than I am. All of your posts seem to be submitted between 3-5am. Are you really up that early? If you can't sleep maybe you should talk to your doctor about a sleep aid. You will not be able to get through this if you are completely exhausted.

Thanks for the link to your sitch, I will read it later. Today I have an all day dance seminar (part of my GAL). As you know WH is gone all weekend and at least it will keep me from moping.

My husband is doing an adequate job at the business. If it was anyone else, I would have given them a talking to, to shape up. However, in his current MLC state I don't know if I can expect anything else. My H will go to the store for supplies (which he always did) but will be gone all day, or sometimes for hours at a time. The rest of the staff and I have always managed, what choice do we have? But everyone else has to pick up the slack of all of the little extras that he used to do.

I think one of the tragedies of people in our situation is that we are losing not only our husbands and lovers, but our business partners as well. I never had to worry if the bookkeeper was embezzling funds, because it was my husband. I didn't have to worry if extra supplies were ordered and then diverted, my husband did that. He obviously had an invested interest in us doing well. What burns me even more, is that the reason we set up where we did, is that my father in law has been this small towns prominent physician for over 30 years. Everyone knows the family and the family name, so it gave the business a boost right when we opened. Most of our clients, my husband went to school with, or were friends of his siblings, etc. People come to us because they know him, I was the outsider (I'm from Texas originally). Now he wants to run away, and probably for the next 10 years I'm going to have to hear "so how's H doing?" as I do every day now.

How to reply to that? He had a MLC and left me for his mistress?

My husband too has tried to communicate with me, usually by email when he is gone on weekends (I presume to see OW). At one time he got quite insistant, and I just replied with "I refuse to talk about the elephant in the room, when the elephant is in the room." This was a bit of nastiness on my part, as the OW is quite a hefty customer (luckily I have always been slim and fit, something my H says he used to admire, guess that has changed.)That shut him up and he even admitted it made him chuckle later.

I'm not sure if I read your situation correctly, but it sounds like your husband is perhaps a salesman and you are managing the office. (I haven't read your full sitch, just the message above so sorry if I got that wrong). Would you be able to start looking for another job, just to have an escape hatch in case your business does do badly? I know with my husband I get the feeling he really doesn't care if things fall apart, because he's planning on leaving anyway, so what should it matter? He hasn't said anything specifically, but I get the feeling that he wants his signed papers and then it will be 'adios' leaving me and the rest of the family to deal with the chaos in his wake.
It certainly is not fair that your husband expects you to stay at home and work work work while he's having his kicks. I don't think I could stand that either. My husband has mostly left on weekends 'to think about things' (which I guess meant spending time with OW) but at least he was here during the week. This is the first time he's taken a 4 day weekend which is why I think things are spiraling downwards.

Ok, this is long enough for now. Thanks for listening and I promise I'll read your sitch so that I understand more later.

Hope you can enjoy your weekend. I'll be thinking about you, it helps me to know there are other people in similar situations. Hugs to you.