I don't really have much to offer. I don't know what these WHs are doing, and I don't think they know what they're doing either. I like your question-- should I just give up?... or hope for a day when I can burn these D papers over a candle-lit dinner?
I don't know.
My choice is to do neither, if that's possible. I'm just letting time do its thing. My shower is coming up soon, and I'm so excited for that. I'm starting my cello lessons soon, thinking of the tattoo I'm going to get when I'm done breastfeeding, thinking about my post-birth haircut, and all kinds of stuff like that. To me, that's the best. I am trying hard not to think about him. My story changed a bit this week (I posted one day, somewhere and am about to add more :)), but at the same time, nothing really changed. I'm still here in my apartment, just the baby and me! But I have to be happy here.
Thoughts of being together:
+ When he first meets the baby, his feelings may change. + As the baby grows and becomes more like a little person, his feelings may change. + When the holidays come up again, his feelings may change. + More NC time may prompt his feelings to change.
Thoughts of myself:
+ I'm going to have the best post-baby body I can have! + In ten years, I believe I will find love. Either WH or someone else. + Someday I will have a lot of advice for younger women who are going through the situation I am now. + Right now, presently exactly, I am okay. I've got friends and a baby on the way!
I don't know if any of this helps you. I hope somehow it does! I just want you to know that others are definitely thinking of you. And, like Piano said, it WILL get easier for all of us. It can't get much worse from here. I comfort myself knowing that I've been through the worst already. I can handle anything now! We all can.
I'll go now. Hope your baby is kicking a lot!
me, 30 WH, 29 D born June 2010 M: July 2001 Bomb/S: 1/14/10 Done with it all.
