Just a quick update of H visit to see children on Wednesday.
I gave him 2 boundaries. The first to not ask the children to meet OW or visit his flat. The second to move all his 'toys' from the garage. On the second occasion he filled with tears and asked why?
We also talked very comfortably for over an hour.He was relaxed in my company and gave good eye contact.
Some positives were evident in the conversation.
He talked about having plans for the house but we never quite had enough money to do them. Usually the house is always spoken about in a negative way as it was one of his justifications to leave.
He openly discussed how the business is in free fall and the debt he is carrying. Previously he always denied this.
He asked if 'we' could take D to Uni in Sept.
He told me he was worried about me. This is the first time he has mentioned any concern for me both since he left and for maybe 18 months before.
He agreed to attend couselling with our S13 who is trying to understand what is going on. Previously he would never have entertained the thought as the children would be ok.
He asked if he could visit twice more this week than normal.
I validated his feelings when I could and remained friendly throughout.
I have my feet firmly on the ground and have no expectations and take the positives for what they are but they were nice to hear.
