Waiting More Than a Dozen Years

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Neither.

There are the more immediate medical issues and then what happens after that. Right now she still needs my help in her care and recovery, though she is making progress. The doctor told her that she may not realize it, but she had a lot of surgery on her ankle and heel. In that regard, I have some sense of responsibility to assist her in her recovery.

Over the longer term, I have been stayed because I simply did not wish to go through the angst that I know WILL occur when I say "I'm done." I realize I should have gone long ago...at least 12 years ago when she made her definitive choice. There was hope (on my part) that she might reconsider and accept my "lowest offer" (that was from 11:59 on 12/31 until we finished on 1/1 every two years. But because it spanned two calendar years, 'we" could still claim "once per year whether we need it or not.") But then her mom suffered a stroke and there were lots of issues to deal with. Being supportive seemed a lot more important than the first year with no sex. And so time has passed me by.

I certainly don't want her to sexual with me if its all for just to keep me from leaving.