Oh, and I've got 7:30pm tonite in the pool for her to spew forth the "I was GOING to try to work things out with you, but NOW YOU'VE BLOWN ANY CHANCE OF THAT BY DOING THESE THINGS TODAY!"
Bank on it.
Puppy
I'll see your 7:30 and raise you to 6:00pm
Just catching up F. Listen to these guys they know what they're talking about. Been there done that. I wish I had my $hit together like u do. Took most of us a hellava lot longer.
Stick your guns. Remember this is HER PROBLEM NOT YOURS. SHE CHOSE THIS. Dont let her GUILT TRIP YOU with any of her bs.
Wife already changed email password for one of her accounts but not the other. She's not thinking straight.
She must be freaking out, trying to know what I actually know and I don't know.
Have to say, Puppy and Gnosis, the speech I put together from your advice worked like a charm in sending her mind in a million directions.
I'm emotionally exhausted. It's been a though, long day.
Exposed to one family member only (not direct relative, in law) the one I thought would be more willing to listen. I was right. He told me that they were already very thinking that she was only telling half of the story. I might have a player in the other team but won't treat him like one until I have 100% confidence in him.
Can't find the rest of the family, so I'm just going to leave things there for now. I've already been given strong signs that her mom will never believe me. My W painted the picture that I am a bastard for a whole month, so why bother?
W has still stuff to come when she gets home. No broadband and then checking her balance.
I'm exhausted.
On the bright side, I have a new haircut and I went shopping for new clothes. Complete different look tomorrow when I collect the rest of my stuff from home.
Last edited by Fracesc; 03/26/1006:29 PM.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
Remember, do NOT let her bully you into giving up the source(s) of your intel. "I'm not going to tell you that" is all you need to say. If she asks you what you KNOW, say "I know everything," or "I know plenty, and I can't believe how disrespectful it all is to our family."
Just one example from my own sitch about the power of good intel, and them not knowing what you know and what you don't know:
When I found out about my wife's affair, thru a keylogger on our home computer, I gave her the "I know all about you and _______ , and it needs to stop" speech. In the weeks ahead, she continued to badger me to get me to reveal what I knew, and I would NOT give it up. "I'm not going to tell you, so please stop asking me -- suffice to say that I know just about everything."
Well, the voice-activated recorder in her car once turned up her talking to OM on her cellphone, and she said "I mean, unless he was outside in the bushes that day we were at _______'s house, and watching us thru the window, what could he possibly know? Do you think he has pictures of that?"
Um, no, dear, and I had NO CLUE you had ever been there up until that point, or if the relationship had gone all-the-way physical.
Wife already changed email password for one of her accounts but not the other. She's not thinking straight.
Then the plan is working.
Originally Posted By: Fracesc
She must be freaking out, trying to know what I actually know and I don't know.
Yep. Look at what Puppy said above.
Originally Posted By: Fracesc
Have to say, Puppy and Gnosis, the speech I put together from your advice worked like a charm in sending her mind in a million directions.
You're very welcome. This is what the whole purpose behind it is... to keep her mind off the other man and on you.
Originally Posted By: Fracesc
I'm emotionally exhausted. It's been a though, long day.
Go and get some sleep. You've had a lot of sleepless nights. Catch up on that. And rest peacefully with the thought that the tables have now been turned. She is the one who is going to have a restless night.
Originally Posted By: Fracesc
Exposed to one family member only (not direct relative, in law) the one I thought would be more willing to listen. I was right. He told me that they were already very thinking that she was only telling half of the story.
That is good news.
Originally Posted By: Fracesc
I might have a player in the other team but won't treat him like one until I have 100% confidence in him.
Good. Proceed with caution.
Originally Posted By: Fracesc
Can't find the rest of the family, so I'm just going to leave things there for now.
No worries. This isn't a marathon. A short delay can be a good thing. i.e. Each on approaches her for her side of the story and bugs her to know if its true... at regular intervals... this puts strain on her.
Originally Posted By: Fracesc
I've already been given strong signs that her mom will never believe me. My W painted the picture that I am a bastard for a whole month, so why bother?
Why not bother? Who cares what she thinks... this is mind-reading. You have no idea. Just do it and see for yourself.
Originally Posted By: Fracesc
I'm exhausted.
I know you are. Switch off the phone now and get some sleep. There is going to be a lot of "fun and games" going on at W's place.
Originally Posted By: Fracesc
On the bright side, I have a new haircut and I went shopping for new clothes. Complete different look tomorrow when I collect the rest of my stuff from home.
Yep.
Remember: The fewer words you speak the stronger you appear. Don't show any emotions on your face except... happiness. Happy to know the truth and it has set you free.
I'm emotionally exhausted. It's been a though, long day.
Go and get some sleep. You've had a lot of sleepless nights. Catch up on that. And rest peacefully with the thought that the tables have now been turned. She is the one who is going to have a restless night.
Yep. It may take two days to bust, or a week or a month, or six months. But make no mistake -- TODAY is the BEGINNING of the end of their affair.
Today the romance and the mystique and the intrigue was shattered, by a single-minded man determined to fight for his marriage and his family.
Today the romance and the mystique and the intrigue was shattered, by a single-minded man determined to fight for his marriage and his family.
Puppy
... and let's not forget armed with some incredible advice.
Thanks to everyone who has dropped a line and challenged me through this journey. If you go back to the beginning of the thread only 1 week ago I was in complete darkness and denial.
I don't know what's going to happen but what I DO know that the journey within me, is something that nobody is ever going to take away from me. U helped me turn a crisis, into an opportunity for personal growth.
I'll never forget that.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *