I will be joining you virtually with a glass of wine shortly....

MC- that is exactly right..his actions do not match his words..and even his words don't match his words.

If he was serious about ending contact..than that means NO CONTACT. I feel like even having the conversation about her new job opened the door again....she went into his office. If she was given the message of NO CONTACT loud and clear..she would not be attempting any future contact, not sending emails, text messages, and strolling into his office to talk about her new job.

He manipulates me by getting defensive...saying that I am interrogating him. This is his way of not discussing it any further so that he doesn't have to tell any additional lies..or half truths. He didn't send me the full email conversation...there is a reason for this. I am biting my tongue right now because she IS leaving in two weeks and perhaps that is what is really necessary for him to break this thing up once and for all...The time has finally come so I don't want to blow it.

When will I feel like the wall between us is down..and the wall between him and OW are up? He just doesn't get that he CANNOT be friends with her..EVER. He won't tell me where she is working? Why is he protecting her? He asked me about coming home again during the call...he needs to let his landlord know about his lease. He has his apartment until the end of April. I told him to hold off until after we go to the MC..and see what she recommends.

I have had this bad feeling in my gut all day. He still hasn't closed the door on her...he is leaving it slightly ajar just in case we don't work out IMO. That is no way to go into MC. Perhaps I am just hypervigilent to everything because of what has happened..but he really hasn't provided me with much to feel otherwise. I know my situation is a bit different than some...my H says he wants to work it out (which many would be ecstatic about)...but I get the impression he may just be going through the motions to say that he gave it a shot. I don't want to put the effort in if this is how he is approaching things.
Please tell me if I am crazy or my thought process is skewed. After speaking to him..I often question my sanity. He just isn't completely transparent..

I am vascillating between trying to win him back...and making him fall in love with me again...and then just kicking him to the curb. Most DB efforts will be pointless if he is still carrying on his A..even if it downgrades to just an EA. I am just not convinced.