50/50 is a high number exactly because it is NOT a toin coss! It's a person, and free-will, and an already messed up head space, and an already walked-away spouse with an ego that won't admit he was wrong, and his family and friends encouraging him to keep moving on, and other options for him out there.
Today was a tough day, I miss him alot.
At one point I thought, I should just call him to come home now, this is so silly already.
Then I remembered that it probably wouldn't work, and I should keep going with my current strategy to get a life! I hate this.
I think he has big plans with his new life friends tonight anyways.
Sometimes I wonder why I spend so much time thinking about someone who doesn't even want to be with me, when there are people who probably do!
